The Summer is quickly coming to an end and with that the start of the new school year will soon follow. The transition into school is not always easy. Your little one may have never even been with any other caregivers, but you and now they are starting school in a completely new environment. This may seem daunting, but I am here to tell you that there are several things that you can do to lessen any nerves or anxiety related to starting school. After all, beginning their school journey is a significant milestone in their life.
If you have a child ages 1-5 that is preparing to start school for the first time here are a few tips to make that transition to school just a little bit easier.
1. Read, Sing, & Talk
Reading, singing and talking together is one of the most important things that you can do to prepare your child to start school. Using language and visuals that are age appropriate for them will give them the context they need to understand this new journey. Check out my other article for my favorite books for beginning the school year.
2. Shop for new supplies...together
Including your child in the school supply shopping process might not be the quickest or easiest thing to do, but it will be worth it. Sure, it's so much easier to "Add to Cart", but this is another touchpoint to not only talk about school, but to get them excited about school. You don't have to do the whole list together, as I know you're likely a busy parent, but pick a few special items for them to choose like a backpack and/or lunchbox.
When you give your child a choice you are communicating to them that they have some control and command of their school journey. There are many things that are not in their control, but being able to pick out a backpack or lunchbox can bring them comfort. When you both in the store and back at home, you can discuss what they will do with those items. You can begin to talk about your daily routine i.e. packing their lunch the night before, laying out clothes, making sure they have their supplies in their backpack. You can also address that these items will be going to school with them and talk about what they will do with them i.e. hang them on a hook, put them in a cubby, enjoy lunch with their new friends, etc. All of this conversation is because you gave them a say in their journey by allowing them to pick out a few items and conversation in comfortable environment is one of the best things you can do to prepare them.
3. Take a Tour of the School...with your child
Many schools do provide tours or the option for a tour nowadays and if they do you should not only take them up on it, but you should include your child. I know it might not seem like the easiest thing to do. After all, you want to discuss important things about the school with the administrator giving the tour without being interrupted by your child, but this school is going to be theirs. You want them to feel as much a part of it as they possibly can.
Touring will also give you yet another set of important conversations to have. Now when you talk to your child, you can reference the things they saw like the lunchroom, the classroom, the playground, etc. This helps your child visualize as you talk. If your child's potential school does not have a tour option, almost everything is now online. Children love looking at things on a computer, phone or tablet and here is a good excuse for a little screentime. Show them pictures and/or videos of their new school, while discussing what's in the picture and talking about the things they will do there. For example, "Look at this lunchroom. You will sit with your new friends at these tables. You will have your brand new lunchbox with you and this is where you will eat the yummy lunches that we pack together."
4. 'Gift' for Teacher
You may think that your child's teacher is in full command and has full confidence to start the year and while they are the most capable individual to educate your child, they are probably just as nervous/excited to begin the year. What a better way to recognize that you are in this together than to acknowledge your child's teacher with a little gift. It doesn't have to be anything that you buy, in fact, I have another blog post that includes several "free" gift options. It should just be something that shows support for the other person in charge of educating your child.
Many parents are also worried about the fact that gifts will be seen as "sucking up", but I can assure you that when a teacher feels appreciated by not only his or her students, but also by the parents of those students, it leads to far more successful outcomes for all involved. You and your child's teacher are on the same team supporting the same child. They are working extra hours, days, etc. to ensure that they give the best possible education to your child and the other students in that class. They are often doing it with little more than the satisfaction of educating young minds to support them, so what better way to show you're in it together than to recognize them with a little beginning of the year "gift".
5. Prepare Yourself
The last one is probably the hardest one and something that we will never stop doing as parents: our own inner work. Not only is your child experiencing a new milestone, but so are you! Your child may have a range of feelings about starting school, but I guarantee you will too. As your child heads off to their first days of pre-school or kindergarten, you need to evaluate how you feel. Your child may not be nervous at all. They may be excited or even indifferent, but how you feel can have a significant impact on them. Are you nervous about them starting this new journey? Are you relieved to get a little break time? Are you excited about the new milestone? Whatever it is you're feeling, you need to process it, evaluate it and name it. Then you need to make space for their emotions.
It is so hard to allow our children to feel a certain way, if we are the one dictating it. For example, when my son started his first day of school he had never been in the care of anyone who wasn't family. Even as a former educator, I was so nervous about this fact. I probably projected it onto my son. I kept feeling like our relationship/dynamic would change and I allowed very little space for excitement or any other emotion that he had regarding starting school. I imagined worst case scenarios. but after a few weeks of school I realized that all was going to be fine and our relationship actually only got better. During this whole time though, I had to do my own inner work. I journaled, I talked to friends and family, and I tried to meet my son where he was emotionally every single day. I am not perfect at it and you won't be either, but that's okay. The best thing we can do is try.
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